The changing of the seasons once again puts the idiocy of assignment editors everywhere on full display.
Don't you just love those seasonal tips they bring us? The ones about staying warm in the winter and keeping your cool in the summer?
You know: Wear a jacket, go inside to get out of the cold, drink warm beverages. On the flip side, it's stay in an air-conditioned place, drink cool beverages, dress lightly. Gee, thanks.
And always. ALWAYS, no matter what the season: Avoid alcohol.
I saw a story once that was headlined: “20 tips to stay cool on a summer run.”
Hello?! How about one tip: Stay home and sip a cold beer.
I used to play golf in the desert in the summer in the afternoon. I did this for two reasons. First, greens fees were cheap. Really cheap. Second, the beer at the 19th hole tasted extra, extra good.
I played on such a particularly hot day this one time with a fellow who ordered a hot cup of coffee at the end of the round. That was a good one. His other playing companions and I hooted and waited for the punch line.
There wasn't one. He was serious. He had read somewhere that a hot beverage was better for cooling off.
While we sipped our brews, we watched for other signs of heat-related stress. Not seeing any others, we let him drive home on his own.
Heat and cold affect people differently.
Fairy and I came from the “factory” equipped with different thermostat settings.
Her DNA is, no doubt, loaded with Viking genes and, as a result, her thermostat is set to overheat at about 50 degrees.
I figure my ancestors were among the first to flee south at the dawn of the last Ice Age. I consider 80 degrees so ideal that I refer to 75 as “five below.” Brrrr.
This means that our house is usually kept at a temperature that is too warm for her and downright chilly for me.
Expense-wise, this balances out. In the summer, when the outside temps are hovering in the 110 range and the interior temperature is 74 degrees, the air conditioning bill can run a tad high.
But in the winter, keeping the house at a bone-chilling (for me) 70 degrees doesn't use much gas.
So, as I see it, winter in the desert offers three benefits for me. One, the weather is pretty darn nice most of the time; two, utility bills drop; three, I am expected to wear sweatshirts and sweat pants.
I would also prefer to wear them around the house in the summer when Fairy has adjusted the thermostat down into the frigid zone. But do you know the looks you get when you're so attired on a 114-degree day and you answer the doorbell?
I have found the best way of handling this summer dilemma is to dress the way people expect: Shorts and t-shirt. When my fingers turn blue, I step outside to warm up.
Then back inside. The cold weather in the house feels good for a while. Then it's back outside. I think lizards came up with a similar strategy a kizzillion years ago. Why argue with success?
Don't you just love those seasonal tips they bring us? The ones about staying warm in the winter and keeping your cool in the summer?
You know: Wear a jacket, go inside to get out of the cold, drink warm beverages. On the flip side, it's stay in an air-conditioned place, drink cool beverages, dress lightly. Gee, thanks.
And always. ALWAYS, no matter what the season: Avoid alcohol.
I saw a story once that was headlined: “20 tips to stay cool on a summer run.”
Hello?! How about one tip: Stay home and sip a cold beer.
I used to play golf in the desert in the summer in the afternoon. I did this for two reasons. First, greens fees were cheap. Really cheap. Second, the beer at the 19th hole tasted extra, extra good.
I played on such a particularly hot day this one time with a fellow who ordered a hot cup of coffee at the end of the round. That was a good one. His other playing companions and I hooted and waited for the punch line.
There wasn't one. He was serious. He had read somewhere that a hot beverage was better for cooling off.
While we sipped our brews, we watched for other signs of heat-related stress. Not seeing any others, we let him drive home on his own.
Heat and cold affect people differently.
Fairy and I came from the “factory” equipped with different thermostat settings.
Her DNA is, no doubt, loaded with Viking genes and, as a result, her thermostat is set to overheat at about 50 degrees.
I figure my ancestors were among the first to flee south at the dawn of the last Ice Age. I consider 80 degrees so ideal that I refer to 75 as “five below.” Brrrr.
This means that our house is usually kept at a temperature that is too warm for her and downright chilly for me.
Expense-wise, this balances out. In the summer, when the outside temps are hovering in the 110 range and the interior temperature is 74 degrees, the air conditioning bill can run a tad high.
But in the winter, keeping the house at a bone-chilling (for me) 70 degrees doesn't use much gas.
So, as I see it, winter in the desert offers three benefits for me. One, the weather is pretty darn nice most of the time; two, utility bills drop; three, I am expected to wear sweatshirts and sweat pants.
I would also prefer to wear them around the house in the summer when Fairy has adjusted the thermostat down into the frigid zone. But do you know the looks you get when you're so attired on a 114-degree day and you answer the doorbell?
I have found the best way of handling this summer dilemma is to dress the way people expect: Shorts and t-shirt. When my fingers turn blue, I step outside to warm up.
Then back inside. The cold weather in the house feels good for a while. Then it's back outside. I think lizards came up with a similar strategy a kizzillion years ago. Why argue with success?
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