Are Angry Birds to blame?

When we last left Harry, he was walking across a deserted soccer field wondering where were all the kids who should be outside playing on such a perfect Sunday afternoon.

ARE ANGRY BIRDS THE CULPRIT?

No, not angry birds like in the Alfred Hitchcock movie thriller “The Birds”.

There are families with the last name Bird, but none live in this community. So can’t be those kind of angry Birds.

These are no birds on the rampage because there are no seeds to eat. This is the Sunbelt. Plenty of food.

The birds are not angry because there’s no one to play with. They should be delighted that there are no little people frolicking on the vast green soccer field ready to flick them with a pebble from their slingshot.

As you might imagine, I, Fairy, have the answer.

These Angry Birds I am writing about are what’s keeping an otherwise impossible-to-deal-with 4-year-old out of his parents hair.

His parents are resisting the urge to dig in to the Angry Birds phenomenon. Actually, they probably have already “signed on” at work without telling each other.

Angry Birds, I recently learned, is the latest computerized game to which “kids” of all ages are becoming addicted. The game challenges players to catapult birds at structures containing egg-stealing pigs.

The 4-year-old’s siblings are already deep into it.

Teenagers are too.

No age limit, no education required, just some fun, if you’re up to it. And of course, some technological acumen helps. No problem for the 4-year-old.

These angry birds are keeping little kids quiet and allowing computer workers stuck in cubicles to stay entertained and even letting Grandma and Grandpa supplement their Crossword and Sudoku puzzles for a go at it and actually have fun in their recliners.

We’ve seen trendy crazes like this before; there was the Hula Hoop, the Rubik’s Cube, the first Pac-Man game, etc.

I don’t think this is some underground subversive plot.

Wait a minute, maybe I do.

Could the developer, who is trying to sell more homes in the area, have forbidden the little monsters from going out and playing on the soccer and baseball fields, wanting the fields to remain in pristine condition to entice the potential home buyers that are coming along? Homebuyers, like the little monsters’ parents before them, who just might want to buy because there are pristine soccer and baseball fields for their little ones to play on????

Who is to blame? Angry Birds, a plot by the developers, neighbors moving in and out so no one knows each other? No one to organize the kids? A feeling that it is not safe to let the kids go outside and play?

So many possibilities. Harry’s revealing statistics say all of these could be the answer.

But why??

Where did all the kids go?

It was hard to believe that I, Harry, could have such a beautiful soccer field all to myself on a perfect Sunday afternoon.

But there I was, walking across acres of manicured grass. The sky was overcast. The day was crisp and remarkably unwindy. Maybe about 60 degrees. As I said: Perfect.

Surveying the field in my isolation, I remarked to myself that, in addition to soccer, it would be a great place for a pick-up game of touch football. Or just someone with a baseball bat hitting some pop flies to a kid or two.

Of course, there was a baseball field nearby for that. But that too, I noted, was equally devoid of human activity.

I continued on with my walk. Adjacent to the soccer field was another grassy area. There were trees and small hills. A perfect place for a game of tag, I thought. Or an imaginary gunfight between cowboys and Indians (Native Americans?). Or basic tree climbing.

Alas, there was no one there as well.

I spent the rest of my walk wondering: Where are the kids? Do any of them play outside anymore when there are no organized activities?

I Googled it and, as with most everything, I discovered other people have been wondering the same thing.

I stumbled upon a survey by something called Planet Ark and read that while 65 percent of parents say they explored nature, now only 28 percent of kids do.

Some 64 percent of parents say they climbed trees, but only 19 percent of kids do these days.

Another 66 percent of parents say they skipped rope or played hopscotch while only 29 percent of kids do now.

I read a few blogs and learned that technology seems to shoulder the most blame for kids staying inside a lot. There's the Internet and Facebook and Twitter and cell phones with text messaging and all kinds of computer games. Not to mention a zillion channels on the big-screen, high-def TV.

Let's face it. Being inside is a lot more interesting these days.

How many of these kids would be in the house if all there was inside was one crummy channel on TV with a grainy black and white picture showing Kate Smith singing some crummy song?

That would get 'em outside. Of course, then I’d have to share my soccer field.

No more hiding under the desk

Survival has come a long ways since the 1950s when we were supposed to believe that hiding under our school desk would somehow protect us from a Russian nuclear attack.

Talk about a sturdy desk!

Survival has become big business. For example, there's a company in the Pacific Northwest called The Survival Center. It offers a huge fully-stocked submarine-type structure that it will bury on your property. It will keep a group of five safe from every outside threat imaginable for a long time.

Hope those five people get along OK.

I have no idea what the price tag may be. I suspect it's like owning a yacht: If you have to ask what the price is, you probably can't afford it.

I also see that some companies offer survival food – MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) – with a hefty price tag. Some sell in the $6.50 range per meal. Give me the 15-cent Top Ramen.

Fortunately for most of us, surviving means mostly having to get by without electricity for a relatively short period of time.

And we've all seen those lists: Water, batteries, radio, matches, etc., etc.

In spite of our urgings, our children still don't keep an adequate supply of drinking water and emergency foods on hand.

In case of a typical emergency, there's no place like home. We have about 20 gallons of drinking water. We have a camp stove with two dozen or so propane cylinders. We have rice and beans and canned goods. Also matches, batteries and all that stuff.

I have read that food in the freezer will last 48 hours or less without electricity.

That means if we lost power today, Fairy and I would have to dine on salmon, shrimp, escargot and mahi-mahi for the next two days.

I also read that municipal water systems are designed to keep water flowing for extended periods.

So, it would be hot in the summer and cold-ish in the winter. But, given the choice, I think I would prefer that to a cot in a school gym.

So that brings us back to having an escape hatch in case of the really big emergency when all services are lost and mob rule become a real danger.

I wonder if Fairy is having any luck.

Questions about survival

OK, Harry, what if…?

What if it happens tonight? Shouldn’t we be prepared right now, right here, where we are, to live off the grid?

Do we stay or go?

What if we lose electricity?

Can we still flush?

Do we still have water?

How long does food stay good in the refrigerator and freezer with no electricity?

Do we have gas in the car?

Do you still have access to a bank? All electric?

Can you still go to a gas station? All electric?

Does a diesel generator solve these problems?

Do the banks, gas, electric, water, and sewer companies have back-up generators?

Stove is electric. We do have a propane camp stove that uses propane canisters and we have plenty of those.

Also, we can use the barbecue grill.

Water heater is gas but it won’t fill up when there’s no water.

No heat.

No A/C.

We need a prioritized checklist and a plan.

A personal plan

A family plan

Water for drinking

Bottled water

Water for flushing

Food that doesn’t require refrigeration

Cars with full gas tanks

Guns

Ammo

Cash

What we do have:

Water

Food

Grill and propane stove

Guns

Ammo

Cash

Speaking of survival...

Fairy and I just sort of drifted into this here “survival” dialog. So, naturally, everywhere I look now I see survival stories. Fascinating how that happens.

A CBS station in St. Louis reported how a chain of three stores that sells survival food and gear has seen a jump in sales to people who are getting prepared for the “possible collapse” of society.

This is in Webster Groves, a St. Louis suburb. The owner said the stores have had to order 50 cases of meals-ready-to-eat in the past three months. That's far from normal. The stores usually sell 20 to 30 cases in an entire year.

He said some people are spending thousands of dollars just on backpacks that they fill with survival gear, one for each person of their family. They want something they can just grab and get out of Dodge is how he described it.

Some folks are stashing supplies at home, while others are storing them at remote locations where they can go in an emergency. Some have gone together with 20 or 30 others to prepare one spot where they can meet and, if necessary, defend themselves.

The stores don't sell guns but the owner said a lot of people have been asking advice on where they can buy one.

That brings me to another story I saw written by John Fricke and carried by American Thinker. John is 51 and has never owned a gun and has never wanted to own a gun. Now, he finds himself thinking he needs to buy one.

He's been checking them out, concentrating on pump action shotguns for home defense. In the process, he discovered that his stepmother has been taking shooting lessons and is going to buy her first gun.

Fricke described it as a tenor of the times. The Occupy this and Occupy that movement helped create this feeling of unrest in the air that Fricke fears will grow into greater unrest.

He said he was “very concerned” about the potential for violence coming from the seed of the Occupy movements and its “hoodlums, thugs, gangs, Marxists and general lowlifes.”

He described them as violence-seeking mobs.

“If they want a fight, they had darn well be ready for what punching back looks like,” Fricke wrote.

“I have never quite felt this way...these are unique times...”

Fairy and I have talked over the years about surviving in the most drastic of times if the need would ever arise. Our search for a safe harbor will continue. The desire seems more urgent.

The fun is in the looking

There you go, Harry, pushing my buttons again.

I love real estate. You know I can stay very busy looking for just the right place in the right climate that has the survival requirements in place.

Since we’ve narrowed down the state, it will be easier. Before we were always trying to decide which continent to live on.

I will search and search and we will go on “field trips” to check out what I find. I will try to be more practical than I have been in the past.

Regardless, we always have fun looking no matter where the search takes us. We eat in restaurants and I don’t have to make the bed.

Back to reality.

The weather here is perfect and has been for the past couple of weeks. I can’t complain about 72 degrees…and neither can you…can you?? OK, well you do have on layers and long pants and I have on my Mexican gauze ensemble.

I am thankful that we have a home and that we have our health and our sense of humor. I am also thankful that if anything catastrophic happens, you will take care of me…won’t you?

I’ve forgiven you for the hurricane thing in Puerto Vallarta.

See you at dinner. It’s thin spaghetti with turkey meatballs. Do you think thin spaghetti will make us thin?

“There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will” ~Robert Frost

A place to survive

I'm glad Fairy brought up survival. It gives me a chance to change the subject.

In case of a BIG emergency in which all basic services are lost, a city is not the place to be. I'm not talking here of some act of nature that sends people scurrying for an emergency shelter set up by government agencies or the Red Cross.

I'm talking here of the really big deal that puts everyone on their own for an extended period of time.

Our mountain hideaway had everything to survive: Pure spring water delivered by gravity flow, wood heat, the ability to cook on wood, a never-ending supply of wood, a nearby river filled with fish to be caught, a meadow and forest teeming with wildlife to be harvested, a pantry brimming with canned goods to fill in the gaps.

On the downside was a cold winter that lasted about half the year (Fairy's ideal and the source of my main complaint) and isolation (my ideal and Fairy's main complaint).

So, we have by happenstance ended up in a place where we are too warm, surrounded by people, dependent on a water company, a gas company, an electric company and a grocery store, to name but a few.

Our main occupation seems to be searching for the ideal survival spot in a state (Arizona) that may not have one but a state we are not willing to leave.

We have looked, and continue to look, all over the state. So far, nothing has clicked.

We have found a couple of country places that had their own ponds and water supplies, but were too expensive.

As we're not tied down by jobs at this point, we now seem to be working on a small place in the desert with its own well and the same thing (emphasis on small) higher up.

We have a piece of desert land with a well. No electricity is near, so solar is the best option. We are investigating. There are no fish to catch but plenty of jackrabbits and deer to eat if it gets to that point. There's enough mesquite wood around for cooking and heat

If that works out, we need to find a mountain place to escape the summer's searing heat. It, too, would need water and someplace nearby to harvest Nature's bounty if the need arises.

And who knows. We also could find a year-round affordable place at that 4,950 elevation thing Fairy mentioned.

The search continues.